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We should never confuse surrender and submission as a relinquishing of power. We are required to elevate to understand surrender is a service, a favor, a gift of concession that should be appreciated by the man, that perhaps seldom is. However, in that surrender, even if the man does not appreciate that surrender, the surrender of the feminine to herself is the most important. Ultimately, if you choose to share your body with someone, even if they do not appreciate the holiness and sacredness of the service of sexuality that you are giving them, If you are using your body to heal yourself just as much as the other person, then you still reap the benefit by your intention.
When I declare that sexuality is a service, I'm not necessarily referring to socially-defined sex work or sex for pay: sexual exchange as an energetic and emotional exchange is a service to humanity whether you get paid physical currency or material gifts for it or not.
Intimacy, like Self-Care, should be ritualised...
In the act of physical, partnered intimacy, within the sexual energy exchange, each partner should be deified– this poetic congress is an act of worship through the vessel of another’s amazing physical being. It is an art and a science. It is a mindset and it is a lifestyle, quite frankly.
Indeed, Sensuality itself is a lifestyle. It requires a choice to be present in every moment, to truly enjoy every sensation. This in itself takes consciousness, conscious effort. The orgasmic ecstasy of sensual surrendering is a spiritual revelation. This Spirituality– a peace found through sensuality which enables you to revel, reverently, in your simultaneous human vulnerability and Divine power– is a lifestyle. Hence “The Orgasm Lifestyle” or “The Oshun Lifestyle,” phrases I coined in 2011-2012 with my former website TheOshunLife.com
Just as I’d begun teaching back then and as I am teaching now, being in The Coquette Archetype of Femininity that The Jade Maiden module of my course represents, is not merely knowing how to flirt. It is not merely being aloof. It is not merely giving chase. Being a coquette is not merely playing hard to get, playing shy or batting your eyes. It is not giggling at every joke or even clutching your handbag a certain way. It is a posture that is invoked and lived, not something that can be imitated or put on.
The coquette is a woman that understands the measure of her power and how to use it, how to measure the way she uses her power. When to give, when to disclose, and when to withhold. When to cry out, and when to speak out quietly with reserve, as well as when not to say anything at all.
Tact, wit, and diplomacy are the currency of the coquette, because the coquette is disarming, not deceitful. The coquette is not a manipulative, flirtatious gold digger, laughing loudly in men’s laps or twirling in men’s faces on dance floors with the abandon of an unseasoned, unlearned college freshman with a new dress. Instead, the coquette is accommodating, lovely, wonderful to be around. Yet she is not possessed. She makes the men that seek her favors feel comfortable, feel comforted, even amused by her charm and her wit, yet they are also provoked to profound thought, prompted to poetic reverie in wondering, questioning her mystery.
This is the true coquette, who understands how to veil her words as much as her eyes and sometimes her body– creating illusions as desirable as a mirage of water in a desert oasis, like the glimpse of a collarbone under a silk scarf, or the flash of a bit of thigh under billowy garments during a swirling dance.
The coquette is not out here putting on all the push-up bras and pushing her cleavage into every man's face. The coquette might have on a turtleneck and a skirt down to her ankles, yet, the coquette still draws and allures because of a quietly simmering power.
.....The Artistry of the Coquette is her ability to leave a lingering desire in the man. A Desire lingering, wafting faintly yet maddeningly in the air, the way a man will remember your scent, the scent of your musk, or your perfume, or your pheromones.
It is the delicious haunting that keeps you in a man's mind night and day without having to go to bed with him. It is the allure that makes him question and want to see more. The Coquette is not the woman that has all of her body exposed freely. Instead, this is the woman who compels a man to desire to know her better. She magnetises a man who desires to see her again and again, every second consumed by the thought of her– not a man seeking to simply f**k her and leave.
The Coquette doesn’t allow the world to see everything she has to offer before she even finishes walking down the street. Rather, she compels them to desire and imagine what she may possess that is hidden.
The nature of the true Coquette is not to put everything on display brazenly and wantonly, but to specialise in a glance, a scent, a word that can make him crazy with desire and toss and turn all night and look for you with a flashlight in the daytime when he hasn't even touched you.
The ache for the warmth of the touch of your flesh.
The ache for imagining the taste of your lips.
Imagine the extreme satisfaction that the woman possesses knowing how desperately he desires her before he has possessed her. That is the power the coquette sustains.
Western women in modern times hold– and live– a distorted view of what female sexual power is. Showing too much of their bodies on the Instagram: glossy airbrushed photos showing a pretense of confidence and filters that are unsuccessful at hiding their insecurities.
Modern women have no concept of novelty. In their pitiable attempts at attractiveness, there's merely sad overexposure and no allure.
When a woman lays everything out on the table, a man is denied the pleasure of uncovering every curve, becoming enraptured in gasping surprise at each mound and valley of a woman’s throbbing, warm flesh, upon which goosebumps rise due to the electricity of touch.
A man is deprived of the journey to uncover the prize won through his accomplishment, his confidence, his strategic hunting out of her scent and signals. He is denied the pleasure to imagine and dream of what she looks like, yielding only to him in a moment of sweet, consensual conquest. An overexposed woman is a common sight, despised because of its indiscriminate and undiscerning accessibility. This is not an elite experience, a privilege of refined taste. Instead, it is an experience defiled by convenience.
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All words Copyright (c) Gloria C. Steele aka/DBA Hadassah Hadara @HadaraWombCare as HadaraCare Holistic Organics, LLC. Based on original content written and channeled in 2017/2018, taught in 2019-2020, and enhanced with further upgraded language in 2023. ALL INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS RESERVED!
**NOTE: these are excerpts from a series of essays I've written on The Coquette Archetype in particular, and my uniquely conceptualised spectrum of Divine Feminine Archetypes which I introduce women to in my Coaching Series: Gates of Femininity. Click here to register for my webinar to learn more in answer to the call to rediscover and reclaim your authentic feminine expression.